Ok, now firstly you should know that I am a little bit of a geek so things written here may be slightly skewed to the sci fi corner of the spectrum, but you know what do I care? This is my blog and I’ll blog on if I want to.
So this is not about writing so much per se, but I had a good writing day and was indulging in a bit of the old web surfing and got to thinking about what I’d like to do to get rid of some of the stuff out there that is perhaps as entertaining and valuable as serving hamsters stuffed with caterpillars to a vegetarian. Really it’s not wanted.
So if I had absolute power and could corrupt things to my way of thinking absoulutely here are my 5 edicts:
1. Joss Whedon would have to do another season of Firefly. I know, some might say it’s been too long, that Alan Tudyk couldn’t be in it, that Morena would need hair extensions or that the Captain’s pants might have to be loosened, but I say – Don’t Care. It will be done. And in it we shall find out about Book gorram it! And Wash could come back as a ghost or something. It’s ok, Joss will figure something out. You know he’s god don’t you?
2. Reality tv competition cooking shows would be banned. Yes, that’s it. BANNED. Enough of the engineered drama of a soupy risotto, stop the dramatic orchestral drumming to the unveilng of another soggy chicken pie. And don’t get me started on those chefs. Just because you can make a killer souffle does not give you the right to turn into a narcissistic sociopath.
3. No more vampire love stories or vampire schools stories can be published for two years. Really, I think there’s enough already. How about a zombie love triangle? Or Love in the time of Leprosy. No? You know Edward and Jacob aren’t real don’t you??
4. Anyone using a mobile phone at the cinema or theatre would be magically ejected – painfully – by the demon of eviction. No exceptions. And maybe it could even happen to people who have inappropriately loud conversations on public transport as well.
5. News programs would actually have to contain news. It’s ok, we could still have all that info-tainment masquerading as news, but it can’t call itself news anymore. Headlining with a story about Tiger Woods or some other celebrity’s love squabbles is not news. It just isn’t.